By Mark Rearden, West Lake Country Club | August 1, 2020
I believe making personal decisions about how we conduct our lives and choosing this or that is one of the most empowering things we do. As all parents know, we cannot let our kids make very many of those choices that have long term consequences. As they mature, we slowly begin to give them more and more responsibility about making choices that don’t have such dire consequences if they choose badly. In so doing, sometimes we let experience end up being a better teacher than we would be.
One of the strategies I have incorporated into my teaching is something I learned from my parents. When there was a task or something that had to be done, my folks would turn it into what felt like a cooperative decision. If I had to wash the car or mow the grass, they gave me a time frame in which it had to be done. That time frame was also tied to when I received my allowance. I felt like we came to the decision together. Back then I never recognized the part about not having a choice as to whether I was going to mow the grass or wash the car. They smoothed me over and it just felt like part of life where I got to participate in the process.
Now when I teach young players, I try to use the same concept. For the ones I teach weekly, parents want me to teach their children based on what experience has taught me is the best plan for that child. For a very young one, I will tell them what we are working on that day. Let’s say it is the forehand and the beginning of a slice backhand. I will offer up a choice, “Ben, which do you want to do first?” He will choose and appreciate that I gave him an option. If he offered some resistance to the two skills we were working on, then I may also offer some type of reward to get him to the bargaining table.
As the kids become older and are much smarter, one must become savvier with the whole idea of offering choices. Again, if we assume I am talking about a long term student, we will begin each season (either four month or six) and talk about where we need to go from a big picture point of view. If they have been playing for a few years they likely know what needs work in order to keep moving forward. What they don’t know is exactly how to get there. That is where I come in again, with a choice. I have found that isolating on two skills and being very systematic throughout the period is the best way to enjoy legitimate growth in that area. I will almost always start the conversation with, “We are going to work on two things for the next four months. One of them has to be a weakness and the other has to be a strength. We are going to take the weakness and make it respectable and we are going to take the strength and turn it into an absolute weapon.” What I will do is allow them to decide which one they will choose. Because they know perfectly well where their strengths and weaknesses lie, we end up working on what needs work.
This whole dance I mentioned in the previous paragraph is what magicians call a magician’s choice or forced choice. When they ask you to “pick a card, any card” or to “choose one of the three cups on the table,” they have complete control of everything that is about to happen after that. Regardless of your choice, you will be doing exactly what they want you to do because they have played out this scenario many, many times.
Now, I know this all sounds very manipulative and maybe it is. But it is manipulative with an altruistic motive: to keep the learning process moving forward and to make sure the student is part of the process rather than just being dictated to by the instructor.
So, by the time our young student has matured into a seasoned tournament player we are genuinely collaborating about where they are in the process. When there is an important tournament looming, they can tell me what sort of work will give them the most confidence going into the event. The process begins in the early days by doing what it takes to make the student compliant, albeit with a bit of well-intended manipulation, but years later it ends with student and teacher working together to achieve the best result possible. Mark my words, it has worked well for me, especially in terms of maintaining a good working relationship with the student. As always, I am open to thoughts on any of the subjects I pose here.