By Mark Rearden, West Lake Country Club | March 1, 2020
Recently, I was listening to one of Tony Robbins’ motivational CDs and came across a bit of information that seemed to make a lot of sense, so much so that I have begun incorporating it into my life. Before you get all worked up and start placing a bunch of unfair labels on me, let me explain that the CDs weren’t really my idea. They belong to Cathy, my wife. I don’t especially like the guy (Tony Robbins) and he seems just a bit too sure of himself (arrogant is really what I mean) for my taste. Alas, I must admit he does have some pretty good ideas about discipline if you can get through listening to how successful he’s been and how wealthy he has become. Okay, so much for my disclaimer.
His thought may not be an epiphany to you, but it is to me. Simply stated, my buddy says that one should have a plan or objective when embarking on any scheduled encounter. He went on to say, “It’s useful to let your brain know the direction it’s heading.” I like that a lot.
For a tennis player this works particularly well when heading out to take a lesson. You would be surprised to know how many people show up for a scheduled tennis lesson and when I ask what they would like to work on they say “I don’t know” or “you decide.” For players who receive regular lessons, allowing the tennis pro to direct their path makes perfect sense, but for those who are not on court with a professional regularly, that is not such a good choice. You want the time to be as productive as possible, so the pro needs more direction.
If, however, you are just headed out to strike a few balls or even to play a match, instead of merely showing up and seeing what happens, set up some very specific goals about how you would like the time to look and what you would like to get out of it. If you are just in it for the sheer pleasure of being outside and socializing, then make sure enjoying the social aspect of the time is your outcome. If you really want to work on your competitive skills that day, then be more attentive to the areas that allow you to control the match. Maybe you want to hone your serve and volley game. If you do, then make that your mission. That style is making a comeback, you know. The point is, if you don’t have clear objectives, then chances are your results won’t bring you the kind of satisfaction you are looking for.
The more practical use of this is out in the real world. If you are having dinner at the in-laws’ and you are dreading it, make a plan to steer conversation towards something pleasant, something that allows you and your spouse to talk about how wonderful the evening was rather than rehashing the same old stuff “she brings up every time.” If you have an unexpected day off, make a plan about what you want to do with it. But Mark, sometimes I just like to chill and let the day come to me, you may be saying to yourself. Boy, don’t I know that one, but guess what, that is a plan. As long as you have let your brain know the direction it is headed, you won’t regret having wasted time at the end of the day.
The point to all of this is when you set up specific expectations to any scheduled encounter you are much more likely to be at peace and at ease about the outcome. For you folks who like crossing things off your to-do list, this can take you to a whole new level. Think beyond merely having a plan; plan an outcome. Mark my words, it will change you.