By Mark Rearden, West Lake Country Club | January 1, 2020
You have all seen them, doing some choreographed routine in the end zone that looks like something from a Broadway play. Or the one I hate the most, strutting around behind the line of scrimmage with their arms outstretched wagging their helmet up and down like a bobble head doll. All the while, the quarterback is lying on his back having been sacked by “Mr. Look at Me.” I used football as an example because it seems to offer up the most televised version of bad actors in sport.
It seems that every year sports organizations are writing more and more rules to handle players who act unbecoming, unsportsmanlike or who go out of their way to be as disrespectful as they can be. Sometimes I wonder if coaches are pushing the edge of the envelope in an effort to have their players use intimidation as a form of mental edge. Other times it seems players are just trying to be as disrespectful to their opponents as possible. It’s crazy. Not long ago I was chatting with West Lake Head Tennis Pro, Vu Nguyen, about this very subject. We talked about an article I had read that stated, “When did besting or defeating your opponent stop being enough.” When did we have to start adding some metaphorical punctuation mark to the win? Chew on that for a moment. Unfortunately, I think it started a while back.
Instead of trying to place a date, time, or particular athlete as the genesis of when players started to stick it in the other guys face, I believe a better way to go is to think about how we can be part of the solution rather than identifying a problem we already recognize exists. Those who know me recognize that I believe sports to be a microcosm of life, so this goes a bit deeper than sports alone. People who comport themselves with dignity in their everyday life may get feisty on the playing field, but they rarely show up as complete imbeciles. Understand my comment here; I am not saying good people won’t get upset; I am saying they won’t show utter distain and complete lack of respect for their opponent. By the way, on the off chance you believe everything is wonderful with regard to sportsmanship, shoot me an email. Would love to see differing opinions.
So, where do we go from here? Glad you asked. As a parent and coach, I did my best to let my children and the players I coached know what I thought was bad or unsportsmanlike behavior. While watching sports on television or live at the ball field you have so many chances to start making an indelible impression on your child. As you sit on the couch or in the stands together you will have the chance to see players in action and times when the bad actors will give you a chance to say, “If I ever see you do that I will pull off the court and you will be in the car headed home so fast it will make your head spin.” Just as important and maybe even more so is the positive affirmation of good sportsmanship. “Toby, did you see that? The middle linebacker who just crushed the quarterback helped him up and patted him on the back. I like that.”
It really is amazing that people who are winning or outplaying their opponent are the ones acting out these days. Is it a lack of respect for those around them? Have they been raised or coached to act that way? I am not really sure, but what I know for sure is that kids are quick studies. If you don’t let them know you disapprove of that behavior, you are giving tacit approval that it is okay. Just because we have a burning desire to defeat an opponent (Georgia vs. Notre Dame comes to mind) does not give us the right to be disrespectful. Let’s take this opportunity and be a positive influence in our sphere of influence. Mark my words, we can start changing the world today.